NaCreSoMo Day 1: The Lingering

Ok, so I am being a little sneaky, but really I posted a great deal today! So I am going to allow myself to be sneaky and post a half-finished post so that it gets time stamped as March 1st, then take the time to completely finish writing it up. (in my defense last edit is at 12:18AM)

While this is not the not-becoming-whole song I was referring to in the first NaCreSoMo post, this is lyrics that I started earlier this week the same day the one I am actually trying to get done was started. Not that I plan on neglecting this one… I think.

Lingering

Edge of the walls, edge of the water
Caving in, sliding down
Part of my memories, lingering
Wisps of red, of white, drifting

Out there, when I am in here
Can you ever be ready
Out there, in here, all
Waiting to be found

Ten past four, cellular rings
Pick up to electronic tones
No one to hear the lingering
Fingertips trailing dust on the notes

To yourself, what can you find
At the edges lingering, bound
Replaced by technicolor displays
Cast to linger in
The black and white

Of course you would know
Of course you’ve been told
Sold on the ideas, the contrast reels
Reeling me in

Caught by the hook
Feeling so real
Left dangling, lingering

Linger
Follow me in, follow me out
But still lingering
Follow me in, follow me out
Glimpses still lingering

Is what I have so far, but I feel like the story is obscured. I could put this to song, a pleasant melody, but really it’s a bunch of interesting lines mushed together, without a persona. For some reason I feel like my songs, the ones that stay songs and that I keep around, have personalities. As if they are people in a way, living and breathing somewhat independently of me. With desires, wishes, and things they wish me to know. Well with this one, I feel like it is still forming, a toddler strewing words at their parents. Trying to figure out which of the sounds match up with the effect they wish to create.

This one in particular wants to be melancholy, wants to be reminiscent of an age where we called each other on phones, where landlines mattered, where we learned how to press our fingers over the phone so that we could listen in on others’ calls. I’m also not sure if I want this to be a darker song than it is now. The wisp of red and white was originally because when I started writing this I was thinking about all that I have been through these last three years. How I have changed, my memories finally becoming a part of me I can accept. Memories of a childhood of always waiting, of dreams that seemed more real than life because I wished it that way, and of my grandfather passing away.

And so the lyrics started about someone with memories of red and white, of death and dying, but then it became melancholic about memories fading. The part about death perhaps a twist that is not actually important. I’m not sure, I don’t quite know what this song wants to be. I suppose I could make it more light-hearted for the sake of I tend to write things that end up being really sad or depressing, intentionally or unintentionally.

Also you get a picture! For the full effect, you should visit deviantart, which I posted in for the first time in over two years!

Lingering

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4 thoughts on “NaCreSoMo Day 1: The Lingering

  1. I think I like the first and third verses of this best, because of the way that all of the present-progressive “ing” verbs echo the doubled “ing” sound of “lingering” — the sound of the word therefore also lingers with the listener. I can imagine you could set it to a melody that would enhance that quality. Maybe if you want to play with it, think about other sonic patterns you could set up alongside this one or in contrast to it? (First thought is the rounder sound of “found” and “bound” that shows up in a couple of places.)

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  2. It does follow that tendency to have very good imagery locally but not quite add up to a coherent story. I appreciate that you’re aware of this, because I’m not sure that was always the case. I have to say the first line is my favorite.

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  3. Ditto what chigaijin said. I definitely got the sense (which you expressed in the blog post) that there are several great images, but not so much a unifying narrative. If you’re interested in meditating on landlines/pressing buttons/human connections, I’d zero in on that and maybe separate the other verses into other songs. (Or–zero in on whatever it is that you want to explore on this song, whether that’s landlines/etc. or something else, and save the other verses for different projects.)

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  4. I agree with everything all three of you said. I think this one is going to be one focusing a bit more on technological memory and like Rebecca said, save the rest for later. Will try to finish this one by the end of this week?

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