Please please, pass the flies
Rather pass on the flies
Course was hard, difficult
was the case, to take
Another round, all around
Felt like being obtuse. Some grades are out. General notes: The more I do not completely suck at upper division physics, the more I suck at upper division bio. I really should have quit while I was still ahead, but there really is not much I can do about just not really enjoying bio.
I usually wait a tad longer to check on grades. Prefer to bask in the pool of unknowing for just a bit longer, however this time around, kept going for the jugular. Figured the results could not make me much more infuriated with ‘life’ than I currently already am. ‘Life’ as it were.
I wonder if I am capable of pulling it off now. That which others consider to be my insanity and I consider to be simply operating closer to optimal, closer to awake. I can feel it, myself, not truly awake yet. Not enough reason to be. Even amid all the previous flows of emotions, looks like that part of me still runs on logic. Comforting?
Red moon last night. Night hikes by one’s own lonesome perhaps not the best idea, but I find it rather annoying that I am uncomfortable being out late at night, alone, because of my gender moreso than any other factor. My own feeble strength has only been forcibly reminded of these past two days spent in the machine shop. I keep needing to ask one of my other team members, both of whom are indeed male, to loosen the grip on the clamps because I literally cannot make it move. I hate the idea that due to biological prerogatives outside of my control, I will, more often than not, be at an disadvantage. Really, it all comes down to, I hate things being outside of my control and problems that I cannot solve.
Because I shall not write only of negativity, watched The Nutcracker tonight with my roommate. A review perhaps will be forthcoming at some point. Going home for a few days starting tomorrow. Shop’s closed so can’t get work done anyway. Got many other things to do anyway. Like how to salvage my grades and not fail my classes next semester, *bright smile*. Not sure how much I am joking. The downside of allowing or telling myself to feel emotions is that they are illogical, unpredictable, and distracting. And given a few other environmental conditions, oftentimes disorienting as well.
Well, regardless of it all. Let the insanity ensue!
And we shall see from all this what falls… or flies.